When I initially, told my friends and family I was going to be starting an online business, I mentioned that I wanted to create a blog to parallel my store. Most said that I wouldn't have anything to talk about or questioned what it would even be about. And honestly, I couldn't give an honest answer. As I have been constructing my store and creating my business plan, I wanted to create a personal connection with those who would be shopping with me. I wanted to share my story because I know, in many of my life adventures, many unfortunates, I felt alone. And seeking out answers on the internet always seemed like the go to option. If you are anything like me, every question, every diagnosis and every decision, you seek out advice from those who have experienced it to find peace of mind even if it's not the positive peace you originally were seeking. Which leads me to the main topic...
I began researching how to start a blog and how to connect with readers, and it landed my search right into someone else's blog. How ironic right? I learned that if you have something to share, share it. I learned that if you need to release a thought that you just can't find the right words to say out loud, write it down. I also learned that you will never know how you impact someone until you take the step. I have quickly learned that creating a blog is honestly difficult as the "content" part. I sit down at my desk every day fine tuning things on my store, researching, building my business plan, expense reports etc, and then I get the need to write a blog, and the writer's block is like no other. The difference between writing a story book is that it's just a story. This though, this is my life. My life that has the potential of haunting me, which is does. It has the potential of being misleading or confusing for the reader. But every part of me wants to be 1000% transparent with you all. I don't feel the need to be proper with grammar or spelling. I just feel the need to be honest.
Starting a blog has brought some hurdles to my store as I said before, I want it to parallel to the products I am supplying. I want to create product that reflects my thoughts, and heart. But when I sit down and write about my brain disease prognosis and my infertility it makes me so angry. How can I make a product I love when the design is being fueled by something that makes me angry? And then I try to look from a different view...
My blog is an outlet of course, but the main purpose to it all is to release the tension to be able to fully accept the heartbreak, prognosis, and of course, who I am as a woman. I look at myself every day and wonder how I managed to get to where I am in my life. Did I allow some of these things to happen to me? Could I have done something differently? Or wishing I was just someone completely different. And that feeling of questioning and becoming my worst critic created an unfair hatred for who I was and who I became. I am a mother to a beautiful little girl who I would move heaven and earth for. I am a full-time manager who would do just about anything for my employees. I am a business owner. I am a wife to an amazing man who I would honestly not just die for but live for. I am a caregiver to people around me, but yet somehow, I manage to always forget to care for myself. Which makes a lot of sense when I start that questioning process of how I got into some of the positions I have been in in my life. I very easily forgot myself. I forgot how important I was. I forgot how beautiful I was and how I am someone worth heaven and earth being moved for. I am someone worth doing just about anything for, and I am worth living for. I am worth caring about myself.
As I begin closing out this post, there are a few points I want to reiterate. Start the blog. Process the emotions, as hard is it may be sometimes. Share your heart. And most importantly, don't forget to love yourself. Because as short as life is on this earth, you are more important than carrying a heavy heart to the grave.
With love,
Grace
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